Tips of the Trade to Make Your Headlines Hook the Readers

There’s a fine line between a lead, a headline, and a slug in the world of submitting your news information. For the purposes of a press release, the three items are basically one in the same, or at least, have the same affect as one another when put before an editor for consideration. If you’re sending in your work with a stunning headline, be forewarned that the editorial department will probably change it before it hits the newsstands.

You can, however, tempt the editor into giving your press release heavier deliberation if you present him with a first impression that makes him curious about the rest of your story.

Let’s break it down into three ways an editor might initially view your work:

1) Leading the Pack

A lead is the actually the first sentence of the main body of content in your story. It should be respected as the most powerful sentence on your paper, as it will almost single-handedly make or break your submission in one swift move.

There are crucial elements your lead must contain in order for it to achieve maximum effectiveness for your readers. Most editors will look at your lead, and from that, expect to know what your entire press release is about.

In order to accomplish this, you have to include the who, what, when, where, and why (or how) in that very first sentence, while maintaining the perfect balance between boring and information overload. There are two ways to form your lead sentence:

Instead of writing:

Dallas, TX –Corporation XYZ plans on giving a party for all of their employees to celebrate their recent success in the Greeting Card Industry. On March 11th, employees will be invited to the Hilton Hotel…

Try:

Dallas, TX – Corporation XYZ will celebrate their recent success in the Greeting Card industry by hosting a party for all 100 employees at the Hilton Hotel on Main Street at 8:00 PM March 11th.

This sentence covers the who (Corporation XYZ), what (a party), when (March 11th), where (Hilton Hotel on Main Street), and why (because of their recent success in the Greeting Card Industry). Don’t make the information run into two separate sentences, as the first example showed. Tell the reader all of the main points in the lead sentence, and they will gather additional information in the body of the content.

Editors and readers alike will be able to tell from that one sentence whether or not you’re a professional, and if your work deserves further time and consideration. If you fail to clarify your topic at hand, then the reader will move on to the next item that interests him.

Some writers prefer to start with their lead, devoting time and energy to polishing its form. But if you’re having trouble developing a quality lead, put it aside and move on to the completion of the rest of your story first. Once you have the main body finished, it will be easier for you to gather the key issues and facts for your opening sentence.

Instead of writing a lengthy, all-inclusive lead sentence, try to include the most interesting facts in a punchy, appealing manner. This is the second method of developing your lead sentence – order of importance.

Once you figure out the who, what, when, where, and why, arrange that data in order of importance, and start your lead with the one word that stands out the most.

For example, instead of writing:

“In a party designed to celebrate the long-awaited success of Corporation XYZ, the company will honor its hard working employees with a celebration at the Hilton Hotel on March 11th.”

Start with one of the five W’s – more specifically, the most important W:

“Corporation XYZ will host a celebration at the Hilton Hotel on March 11th to honor their newfound success.

If you still feel that your lead sentence is not an item of excellence in your entire press release, but have tried revising it, without success, don’t resist sending it in as is, because the editor might give it his attention regardless, assuming he can alter the lead if necessary.

2) Extra! Extra! Read All About It! Headline Happiness…

A headline is usually an incomplete sentence that tops the story and stands out in bold print for the reader to see. It comes before the lead sentence in print, and normally doesn’t give a variety of facts, but instead offers a hint as to what the item is about.

For instance – A headline in a publication might read:

Example 1: “Two dead in ten car pile-up.” or
Example 2: “Boy recognized as local hero.”

Notice the lack of details in a headline format. The first example doesn’t tell where, when, or how it all happened. All you know is a basic who (not specific, because that will be divulged in the story itself), and what (a car accident).

Same with the second example. We don’t know who the boy is, or where he hails from exactly, or why he’s being recognized, or even when he became a hero. What we do know is that this is a positive story about a young male child who did something beneficial for his community, and is being awarded for it.

Headlines are what sell newspapers – the editors and other news staff will devise those. Your job is to sell your particular story to the reader. Since you have no control over the headlines, concentrate on working your content to the best possible format.

If you feel you must include a headline with your press release, then specify that it is tentative, showing that you understand that the publication might deem it necessary to alter it as they see fit.

When you send in your press release, your main objective should be to provide newsworthy information that the editor will view as imperative for their readers to know. The news staff will transform your release into a formula they learned when they studied Journalism in a formal education setting.

Many press releases gain a voice through the media regardless of the fact that they were sent in with an overtly biased tone, resembling an advertisement. Depending on the worthiness of the news, an editor and his staff might not discard your submission, or mind rewriting it, if the news will benefit the sale of their publication.

However, to increase your chances of acceptance, a strong intro, followed by a basic news format for the main content, will add strength and credibility to your submission.

3) Slugging to Sell

A slug is a bit of information that allows an editor to easily identify your piece. If the organization you’re writing for is holding a fundraiser for needy families in the community, then the slug, which would appear in the upper left-hand corner of your paper, would read: Corporation XYZ Fundraiser. Nothing more. Nothing less.

Editors are bombarded with a barrage of press releases every day. They have to be able to quickly identify and sort through the items in order to rank them in order of importance for possible publication.

Obviously, a slug reading “Cash Found” will garner more interest than “New Lawn Company.” Finding the best possible slug for your story will allow the editor to add your piece to the higher-ranking items, but it’s important not to lie in order to trick the reader into continuing their time with your piece.

Not only will the editor call you on it if you attempt to make your story into something it’s not in your slug, headline, or lead intro, but assuming it does make it into print, past the watchful eye of the publication’s staff, the audience won’t be too happy when they think they’re about to spend time reading one thing, but find out it’s actually something completely different.

It might help to think of your lead as a summary of your entire story. Your press release is actually two items – the lead, and the body. The body is a fleshing out of the lead, which states the most important factors of the news piece itself.

As you write your press release, picture a pyramid. Many established reporters will tell you to use the pyramid as a method of developing your content. The lead is the first block on top. Everything after that follows on its way down in order of importance.

When the editor decides to use your press information, but learns that he only has a limited space to devote to your topic, he or she will tell the editorial staff to cut it from the bottom up. Therefore, put any information, which is expendable in the last paragraph of your press release.

Some editors might be wary of your work if your lead does not reflect the most important items in the rest of your press release. Make sure that you include those bits and pieces of greatest value in the lead, followed by a more in-depth explanation in the body of your content.

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